humannature

Actors: Baxter Warner,Brent George,Kibbee Guy,Sparks Ned,Powell Dick,Jenkins Allen,Nugent Edward J.,McWade Robert,Stone George E.,Akst Harry,Clark Wallis,Musical,Romance,Drama,

Do you like the beginning of my story?
I posted one of my other stories here a few weeks ago, and it got a lot of positive reviews, so I decided to post my new story.
*This is just a sneak peak by the way.* This came to me while watching Malcolm in the Middle (haha) the older brother, Francis appealed to me, because he seemed like he could fit in a story about criminals. So, I based a main character on him, Matt. I’ve also always loved the ’20’s, and I’ve been wanting to make a story in the 20’s. So, here it is, enjoy!:
An alarm to a bank. Footsteps pounding.. Gunshots. Cars starting. Police alarms. The sound of cash jingling like bells, and in a heartbeat, your off. Each turn life threatening, but you don’t care. I was in the passenger seat, and Gregory, to my left, was driving the getaway. He was a great driver. If your driving through a pool of molasses, count on Gregory to get you out. Behind me was Gus with two revolvers in his hand, firing away at the cars behind us. Right next to him was Sam, "No son, don’t shoot at the cops, Rooky’s first mistake. You’d have to shoot at every cop before the car stops, shoot at a tire, and the car goes a flying." Gus instructed Sam. Last, but certainly not least was Matt, the unofficial leader of out gang, giving instructions and directions to all of us.
"No, take 70th East Street."
"That’ll take me down town."
"Plus the traffic-"
"It’s fine, it’s Wednesday!"
"I thought 70th East Street would take us Southbound."
"No, that’s North."
"What about 42nd Street?"
"Broadway it is."
The car screeched loudly as we headed towards 42nd Street. It wasn’t long before we were all arguing again.
"Told you East Street was better."
"Broadway’s fine."
"East Street would of taken us out clean."
"No, it would of taken us Southbound."
We nearly ran over a stop sign.
"Where next?"
"Go North"
"South bounds easier."
"That’ll take us to 12th."
"No, North will."
"The traffic is terrible this time/"
We’ve dodged several cars, and even a horse by the time we make it out of New York.
"They’re still on our tails." Matt shouts. We make a rough turn,and the sound of alarms finally grows faint. Doors slam open, and everyone gets out of the car. "That’s the best steal we’ve made in months. Look at this, jewels, money, gold." I smiled. I am Sawyer Robinson, and this is my life of crime.
I guess people don’t like to read today,
this is the BEGINNING. Please, please read what I said. OF course it’s confusing. And it’s kind of supposed to be blurry and confusing in the beginning, it’ll wrap up just a few sentences later.

One thing. Let us know who’s who in the dialogue

Otherwise. Sounds ok to me Riissalee | Oct 12, 2009